• Mark T. Whitten

21 Questions for Christian Self-Care

Updated: Jan 27

"My brothers' anger scorched me; they made me work all day long in the vineyards, So I did not have time to care for my own vineyard, to cultivate my own body."

~Song of Songs 1:6


Christians can be masochists. It's sad but true. Lots of believers conjure up false senses of self worth by creating environments and situations for wherein they "serve" until exhaustion sets in. This manifests in what Rick Joyner calls the martyrdom syndrome in his booklet Overcoming the Spirit of Religion.



They think that the more they suffer, the more they please God. Religion says that to love ourselves is selfish. Jesus says, that we must love ourselves. Didn't you know that loving ourselves is part of the Great command? "Love your neighbor as you love yourself " ring a bell?


If we want to be worth our salt in the Kingdom, we need to get real and do some lovin' on number one. We can't love others well if we don't love ourselves properly.


Many of us may not have the time or resources yet to invest in regular counseling check-ups or on-going therapy. But, we can fill-in some pretty large gaps of self-care by counseling ourselves. Counseling really boils down to asking the right questions, listening, and gently guiding someone into a better direction. We are powerful to do this for ourselves (I am not negating the value and need for counseling or pastoral care from professionals, just saying its better to add value to ourselves than do nothing at all!)


Below is a list of self-care questions we should ask ourselves regularly. If you prefer, ask a friend, trusted mentor or spouse to guide you through these questions. Add to the list. Make it your own. Share it. Enjoy!


1. How are you sleeping? What changes can you make today/tonight to improve this?


2. What can you do to get off your ass today?


3. Is there anything serious (bodily) that you may need to consult with a physician or qualified professional about?


4. Is it time to schedule a massage or skeletal adjustment?


5. When is the last time you got into nature.


6. Have you done or planned a solo retreat for this year?


7. Have you created a viable plan to escape from the job you hate?


8. Do you find yourself addicted or stuck in any self-destructive habits?


9. When's the last time you spent some quality time breathing, meditating, or praying with no agenda?


10. How is your walk with Papa? (Don't get religious here. This is not about how much you do - Bible, Church, prayer, etc... it's about who you are with Him)


11. When's the last time you had a night-out with the guys (or gals)?


12. Are you living in the present? or do you find yourself more anxious and hurried? I love what Dallas Willard said, "Wage war on the hurried life."


13. Have you created a life plan?


14. Have you planned an adventure trip lately? (Hunting, fishing, parasailing, snorkeling, scuba, mountain climbing, drive route 66, historical tour in New England, hiking in a state park, etc.)


15. Have you spent any money on yourself or treated yourself to something special lately? (novelty, tool, pedicure, movie, etc.)


16. What hobby or interest are you enjoying lately?


17. Are you taking time to pray, plan, journal on a regular basis?


18. What books are you enjoying?


19. Have you had a good laugh lately?


20. Been on a date lately?


21. What are your fitness goals? How are they progressing?





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